Writers are Sexy

Mmm...writer... I love the way you hold your...pen.
And how you wear that...fragmentary sentence.
You are so smooth how you...build your imagery.
I can't quit staring at the size of your...brain.

You get me excited when you...place that semicolon.
My eyes are fixed on your...back cover.
The way you say...The End is so breathtaking.
It makes me crazy the way move your...plot.

I start to tingle when you...title your chapter.
It's breathtaking how you tickle my...amygdala.
You have such nice curves on your...letter S.
I just can't get enough of your...complex characters....

Us writers are a nerdy bunch. I'm pretty sure I just proved that with the above...poem? We are more prone to stumbling out for our mail at four pm still pajama clad and cursing the blinding saber of light somewhere above us they call the sun than stunning a roomful of the opposite sex at the latest soiree.

But I love us. More than that, I find us sexy.

People forget the importance of the brain in arousal. Too much focus lies in the flesh. The brain with its vivid, wild imagination. Its ability to focus its vast power into something as infinitesimal as the brush of a fingertip on a single point of skin. Yes, the brain is the most important organ of intimacy.

Good writers draw their power from the ability to manipulate your brain. At the outset of a fiction story, everyone knows they are about to be lied to. An alternate definition of fiction, in fact, reads: "An allegation that a fact exists that is known not to exist." In other words, a lie.

Lie to me, baby....

You probably picked up your last book standing under a sign that said in big letters "fiction," so it's not like you expected it to be real. But somehow, that all-powerful writer tricked you into buying her the narrative. She convinced you to care more for her characters than the person you just bumped into crossing the street. Such talent takes magic.

Sleek, sexy magic...

Who isn't drawn to intelligence, wit, strength? Who ever said they disliked a sense of humor? Nothing is worse than a brainless beauty. It's like a book with a stunning cover but filled with scribbles. Or nothing at all....

Frankly, I would rather pry open a plain white hardback and find Shakespeare.

There's something intriguing about the girl in the corner of the room. You know the one. Veiled by shadow. Quietly watching. Not wearing a histrionic red dress covered in the drool stains of her latest love victims. No, she's quiet but sophisticated. She notices you long before you notice her. She understands the thrill of raw emotion. She knows how to manipulate your mind. Her eyes are brimmed with wisdom and power. Her gaze constantly rakes the room, seeking her next character.

I'm terrified it will be me.

Nevermind that damsel in distress. Meh to the helpless princess. I want a queen. No scratch that. A goddess. One who shapes worlds, molds characters, dictates universes. A goddess with the power to create, build, manipulate, seduce. Even destroy.

Sleek, sexy writer....


Yeah, that just happened. I'm not going to apologize for it. If it made you blush, well, tough it out and move on. That's kind of the way this blog has worked so far; you never really know what sort of nonsense is flying at you next. I don't either, so don't ask. If you liked it, feel free to comment below. If you didn't, feel free to comment below. I'll be your friend forever if you considered signing up for my weekly newsletter. You'll get a once-a-week update on my posts and NOTHING ELSE! No spam, no selling your your email to third parties. Okay, if I ever get around to publishing one of these numerous books I've been working on for years, I might send out an email letting you know about that, but that's it! In the meantime thanks for reading.

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All writing is the original work of Brian Wright and may not be copied, distributed, re-printed or used any form without express written consent of the author. Find out here how to CONTACT me with publishing and/or use questions